Friend of the show Tim does some amazing cartooning.
Challenge: Eggs multiple ways. Then we have to learn three facts about the country we cooked our eggs like and blog about it.
Scrambled eggs with lemon and parsley supposedly taste like they’re from North Africa, according to Tim Ferriss. They looked like this and were delicious:
Apathy is the sign of a good rapper. That’s why they’re always telling us to throw our hands in the air. Waka Flocka Flame has the silliest rapper name of our time but he doesn’t care! He doesn’t care about anything. Here’s the proof: he wrote a 4 minute song about the things he doesn’t care about.
Throwing money in the air like I don’t really care
Standing on the chair like I don’t really care
Got bitches by the pair, I’m baller of the year
And haters everywhere but I don’t really care
That’s how you do apathy, people. He’s standing! On a chair! That’s not how you usually use a chair! He doesn’t care about your rules for sitting because he’s Baller of the Year. I don’t know if that’s an award that Rolling Stone gives out or if it’s one of those things you find out about on a mug your kid buys you, but either way, he’s got it. Not that he cares about awards.
[Verse 1: Waka Flocka Flame]
I keep them bad bitches yelling it
Thugged out rich as hell plus I’m throwing dick
Drunk as shit, everywhere I go I’m yellin bricksquad monopoly loud as shit
You ARE drunk when you start throwing dick. Aren’t you worried about losing it? Do you have an Australian dick that comes back when you throw it? Maybe you don’t care about whether it comes back or not.
Throwing money in the air fuck it I don’t care
50 for the ear ring that’s 100 for a pair
Versace on my ass 2 bands for my underwear
Foreign cars foreign broads baller of the year
Paying designer prices for something on your ass proves you don’t really… actually, Flocka, I’m starting to wonder if maybe you care kindof a lot.
[Verse 2: Trey Songz]
Gotta stop, hold up too much money to fold up
Look at that guy. He doesn’t even care that his necklace is literally dragging him down.
I mean, you can’t fold a quarter. So that might not be impressive.
Keep some green to roll up, I run it like a motor
You see the way I pull up, attention like a soldier
What you expect to happen now I’m swaggin on the sofa
I be so reckless, spend 100, 000 on my necklace
That mean my shit is colder, my neck froze polar
Bear nigga yeah, baller of the year
I thought Flaka was baller of the year. Did you guys tie for Baller of the Year or did you win in different years? I really liked 2006 when there was just a mirror on the mug because we were all baller of the year.
[Verse 3:: Waka Flocka Flame]
I see them haters watching fuck it let them hate
Mean mug them back yellin out I’m gettin cake
It is a mug! I knew it. And now you’re going to have cake with your mug because it’s tea time. Now THAT is not caring.
10,000 worth of ones on the way, he ain’t playin with
A check lil moma he just flexin, she came with you
She left with me, uhhh, interception
He saying he gone kill me when he catch me but I
Don’t really care I don’t, I don’t, I don’t really care
You carry your money around in singles? Now that’s the sign of a guy who doesn’t care. I’m sorry I doubted you.
But now I’m a bit concerned. I know it’s cool to not care, but you may find you’re happier if you do. So Waka, I’ve got somebody I’d like you to meet.
Alex Falcone is a comedian, podcaster, and blogger from Portland, OR.
In case you have a bio test coming up or something, I thought I’d compile a list of fun animal facts for you.
o) Naked mole rats are actually wearing tiny meat suits.
o) All bears are gay. That’s where the term “bear” comes from.
o) Elephant cages are 10 feet tall because elephants have a 9 foot vertical leap. Any shorter and they’d jump over them, run away, and join the circus.
o) Because they’re always wearing leopard print, leopards are considered “Natures Hookers.”
o) The Lynx is the arch duke of the jungle.
o) Vampires don’t eat giraffes because it’s just too easy.
o) Elephants were built for giant cowboys to ride on.
o) Kangaroos are just little T-rexs that grew fur. They punch each other, but they’re not angry. They’re sexually frustrated. They want to jerk off but their arms are too little.